Ep. 2: Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds. You Do.
A 10 minute and 9 second listen
Have you ever asked yourself why you haven’t moved on yet? It might be because you’ve internalized the limiting message that if time has passed and you’re not feeling better, then something is probably wrong with you. In this episode, we dive into a few scenarios where this phrase, “time heals all wounds,” just doesn’t work for highly sensitive souls like you. You’ll come away from the audio feeling a bit more admiration for yourself and for the steps you’ve taken to get to where you are today.
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0:00) Hey everyone, I'm Nanae. I'm an intuitive mental health therapist. I use my intuition to guide you (0:08) to mend your deepest emotional wounds in order to help align you to what your soul signed up for in (0:14) this lifetime.Welcome to my audio series where I share my intuitive insights and the beautifully (0:20) messy stories and lessons from my own life. I've been hearing this phrase lately, (0:27) time heals all wounds. People tend to say it after they've been through a rough patch (0:35) and they've come out the other side of it looking back at how hard things were.They say, (0:41) time really does heal all wounds, doesn't it? Well, I'm here to tell you a few ways that phrase (0:50) actually limits you and how after today, you probably won't reach for that phrase again. (0:56) After listening to this audio, you'll be more in touch with how badass you are (1:02) and how you are your own best healer. Here's a scenario that illustrates why this phrase (1:10) is limiting.When you tell yourself or anyone else that time heals all wounds, (1:18) it erases the fact that you're still suffering. Imagine that you went through something really (1:26) terrible as a young child, like the sudden death of a parent, or you were assaulted as a young (1:32) adult. And now in your 30s, 40s, and you're still really torn up about it.You've managed to (1:42) distract yourself with studying, working really hard, maybe by using drugs or with other addictions. (1:49) And now imagine telling someone you just met this story. And that person is visibly a little (1:56) uncomfortable, not really knowing how to respond.And they go, well, time heals all wounds. So (2:04) you just need to give it more time. You're now thinking, this person doesn't get it.(2:12) This person doesn't understand. They've never had it this hard. They don't know what I've been through, (2:19) right? But there's also a kernel, or maybe it's a very obvious, huge boulder of a thought, (2:27) that maybe I should be over it by now.After 20, 30, 50 years, if time itself hasn't healed you, (2:39) at some point, you've taken on the belief that something is very wrong with you. (2:46) You've heard it over and over. Things will get better with time.But you're still so angry. (2:54) You're still very depressed. And the scenarios still repeat in your head, no matter how hard you (3:01) try to ignore them by overworking and distracting yourself.You find yourself thinking, I should be (3:09) over it by now. Why can't I just get over it? Why can't I move on? There must be something wrong with (3:18) me. I think you know what I'm going to say next.There is nothing wrong with you. And it might be (3:28) hard to believe that yourself right now. And if it is, allow me to believe that for you.(3:36) Until you're ready. There is nothing wrong with you. If you're here, if you're drawn to these (3:45) audios, or to work with me, you're likely a very sensitive soul.Someone who's gone through a lot (3:54) and wondering, what was all this pain for? Throughout these audios, I'll share with you (4:02) why a soul like you signed up for a complex and messy life like yours. And if this scenario (4:10) resonates with you, then you are someone that probably has tried a lot of things (4:16) that haven't quite worked as you had hoped. Which leads me to the second reason why this (4:24) phrase is limiting.Telling yourself or anyone else that time heals all wounds erases the work (4:33) that you've put into your healing and growth. Take for example, a bad breakup. I'll actually (4:41) talk about mine as an example.The relationship was intense. Lots of ups and downs. By the end, (4:51) the fights were explosive and scary.A friend told me I looked like the life had been sucked out of (4:59) me. At one point, I thought I had to die in order to escape it. After I left the relationship, (5:08) I was on edge for at least six months.Anxiety permeated every aspect of my life. (5:18) Driving was terrifying. My heart was constantly pounding.I'd wake up covered in sweat at 4am (5:26) and every little sound made me jump. I was isolating and I was not taking care of myself. (5:34) Fast forward a year.I'm feeling settled. My sleep has improved. Driving is enjoyable again.(5:44) I'm genuinely connecting with other people. And I'm trying new and fun things. Yes, time passed.(5:53) But it wasn't time that healed me. And here's where I'll invite you to look back at how far (6:02) you've come. Look at all the actions you took to get to where you are today.All the little choices (6:12) you made. All the steps you took big and small. At some point, the trauma, the wound, the anxiety, (6:22) the stress, the sadness, it pushed up against you so far you had to choose right? (6:30) I either keep going down this path or I have to do something different.And sometimes we (6:38) choose to keep going down that path for a little while longer until we're really, really ready. (6:45) And then there's always that point where you decided, I want something different for myself. (6:53) I want to believe that there is something more for me than this.And you finally told someone (7:01) you were suffering. Maybe a friend, a family member, or you started seeing a therapist. (7:09) Maybe you got an appointment to see a doctor, or you finally decided to talk to HR.You made (7:15) that move out of state you always said you were going to do. You left the relationship, (7:19) you started working out, whatever it is. It was you that made the decision that your life will (7:27) be different from that moment on.That wasn't time that got you to make that choice for yourself. (7:34) Yes, time passed. And the hardship accumulated over time, but it was you that worked up the (7:43) courage to try something new.It was something within you that said, I'm done not caring for (7:50) myself like this. I choose something different for myself. And of course, it didn't stop there, (7:59) right? Gosh, it's been hard since you took that step when you decided you deserve better.(8:08) You actually had to go to therapy, go to that appointment to follow up with the person you (8:14) reached out to for help. You had to keep a schedule to form the habit. You had to keep showing up (8:24) through the tears, the ego deaths, the emotional turmoil and pain, you kept showing up.That wasn't (8:34) time. That was you choosing you backing yourself, deciding that you are valuable. Yes, time can dull (8:44) the immediate shock and pain, but it doesn't heal all wounds.You do. So take a moment. (8:54) Take a few breaths.Look back and acknowledge all of those tiny and big actions you've taken to get (9:06) here. Yes, of course, there's always more work to do. For now, in this moment, can you connect (9:17) to a bit of awe with yourself that despite it all, you made it here? (9:25) Notice how that feels in your body.Maybe it feels like warmth in your chest, or it feels like (9:33) your chest is open and expanding. Maybe it feels like a tingly sensation around the top of your (9:40) head. You might even be smiling a bit.I hope you are so proud of yourself. And if you can't (9:51) feel that yet, allow me to see you as the vibrant soul that you are until you're ready to truly (10:01) see yourself. Thank you for listening and I'll catch you in the next one.