Ep. 8: How Chasing Legitimacy Outside of Yourself Leads to Burnout.

A 12 minute and 54 second listen

In today’s episode, I’m sharing a bit more of my professional journey as a mental health therapist turned intuited healer and my desperate attempts to feel legitimate. I talk through various ways I chased that feeling via external institutions and how that led to exhaustion. This is an audio for those of you who’ve felt like you had to chase, go, run, grasp, and have felt desperate to reach your goals. The exhaustion alleviates when you let that go by realizing the truth of the matter, and the truth about you.

• Transcript

  (0:00) Hey everybody, it's Nanae with another episode for You're Here to Remember. So welcome in, (0:08) I'm going to talk about something that, well, I asked Source, what should I talk about today that (0:15) will make the greatest impact for my listeners? What should I talk about today that if they heard (0:20) this message, it would really help my Soul Align clients to feel like they have more control and (0:28) agency over their lives? And I know that's really important for me, so I'm excited to share this (0:33) message with you today. It's about feeling like your life isn't moving fast enough.Now I'll get (0:41) into the opposite, which is feeling like life is moving too fast for you, but for now I'm going to (0:46) talk to my fellow people out there who run themselves ragged to catch up to something (0:55) they feel like they are trying to catch up to. Constantly overdoing, overworking, just going, (1:02) going, going because they feel like there is some destination to reach and at least for me it was a (1:10) feeling like I'm legitimate. Now if you're always seeking legitimacy outside of yourself, then you're (1:17) going to be chasing that for the rest of your life and it's exhausting and you're going to burn out (1:22) and you're never going to feel that full sense of soul level fulfillment and that's what I want for (1:27) you.I want you to know that that soul level fulfillment is possible, it's just not going to (1:34) be possible through external methods and means. It's got to come through from you, from your core. (1:41) You have to believe it in yourself that you yourself are legitimate no matter what anyone (1:46) else says, no matter what licensing board tells you that you are or aren't, as long as you root to (1:53) 100% that you are legitimate no matter what, then nobody, nobody can take that away from you.So can (2:00) you imagine that if you're relying on something external like a licensing board to let you know (2:05) that you are legitimate, to make you feel that way, then at any point in time they could take that away (2:10) you're beholden to their rules and regulations. At any moment you are afraid that someone might (2:17) report on you and take that away from you. Okay so I'm going to give you a quick example (2:23) of my life.I'm a licensed clinical social worker right now, I'm also a mental health therapist (2:31) and I'm an intuitive healer. So all of those things, (2:38) how do I want to approach this? So the first two things, being a mental health therapist (2:43) and a licensed clinical social worker, that requires a licensure that I renew regularly. (2:50) I pay money to a board and I let them know I haven't broken any rules and there is always a (2:57) possibility that someone or somewhere might come out and report me for misconduct or (3:05) doing something unethical.Okay now side note, that can happen regardless of whether you are (3:12) following the rules under a licensure or not, but we can get into that in another episode. (3:20) It is an energetic match, if you are an energetic match to that happening to you then it's going (3:26) to come out of somewhere. So it could be under a licensure, it could be somewhere else.Okay we'll (3:32) talk about that another day. But okay imagine that, hold on one second, sorry guys. All right so (3:42) imagine that me as a licensed clinical social worker and a therapist, I have a licensing board (3:53) to report to.Okay in all my years that I've been a licensed social worker, I would say now it's (4:05) since 2017, so nine years, eight to nine years, I have felt a fear, maybe sometimes even a terror (4:20) that I'm going to do the wrong thing and I'm going to lose my licensure, I'm going to lose everything (4:25) and it really drove me. It influenced my sessions. I wanted to, I took every single (4:34) training under the umbrella of mental health therapy trainings because I wanted to have under (4:42) my belt that my practice and the way that I do therapy is legitimate, is quote-unquote evidence (4:48) based, is what other people and these entities are going to approve of.So I always felt on one (4:58) level, on a surface level, I felt comforted that I was doing what everybody else was doing. (5:04) I was doing what other people deemed to be ethical and evidence-based and proper. (5:11) Okay but then there was this other deeper soul part of me that wanted to burst out of these (5:18) confines and do therapy in my own way to heal from a source-aligned perspective, to (5:30) to get people to an outcome, to get people to healing (5:36) in any means possible and I felt that with my licensure, it's something that (5:46) restrained me.So I felt like, okay well I can't bring intuition into my sessions, (5:52) that's unethical, it's not evidence-based, people would think that is unprofessional, (5:57) like all these things, all these beliefs came flooding forward and what it ultimately came (6:03) down to when I really really looked in intuitively and just getting guidance from my higher self and (6:09) all that, I realized that I was just constantly seeking legitimacy from an external source, (6:18) somebody to tell me that I'm doing a good job, that I'm doing it the right way and that I won't (6:26) get punished for it. So obviously these are stemming from a much much younger and older wound (6:33) from childhood, which maybe I'll get into another day, but when I realized this (6:41) I decided I'm not going to let an external source such as a social work licensing board dictate (6:50) what I can and cannot do with a client. Now I am still extremely professional, I care a lot, (6:57) I take notes, I record things, I make sure that everything I do is in accordance to my values (7:03) and that I do everything in integrity.I never do anything outside of integrity, however I do now (7:12) bring in intuition, I bring in pieces from past lives that might help them to work through a (7:22) trauma, I bring in insight from their guides and higher self and or source, I bring in messages (7:28) from beings that might really benefit them to hear from and before I was so scared, I was so (7:36) terrified to do such a thing and now I'm like by any means necessary I'm going to help that person (7:42) overcome, to become more resilient, to feel more true to them to their core of who they are, (7:50) that's what I want and yes I can still do that with therapy but I was noticing that when I bring (7:56) these elements in it's happening sooner, faster, deeply and it's more profound and I'm not saying (8:03) that therapy is worse because I've been a therapist for a long time and I've gone to therapy (8:08) many many times, multiple years and it was so helpful for me in that moment and at some point (8:14) I realized I need something more, I need something deeper and I need something more spiritual (8:20) because there was something screaming at me from within that there is an element missing, there is (8:26) a spiritual understanding that I was lacking with only therapy and I gained it by connecting to my (8:35) intuition, to connecting to my higher self, connecting to and feeling really connected (8:44) to source. I was trying to think of another word, another profound word but it's fine, it didn't come (8:49) up. So the point of this audio is if you are somebody like me who has been chasing a goal, (9:03) chasing a sense of feeling legitimate, know that it's driven by a desire to feel good enough (9:14) and gosh it's exhausting, you're gonna burn out.I can just like imagine our wheels just (9:19) spinning, spinning, spinning and going bare. It's not the way that is going to ultimately lead you to (9:27) full soul fulfillment and that's what I want for you and I believe the answer lies in intuition, (9:35) intuition. So on what I've been doing now is offering mental health therapy which I absolutely (9:42) love to do because that regular cadence of sessions for some people is exactly what they need (9:51) and what I've also started to offer are these intuitive healing sessions, intuitive readings (9:58) where I'm truly just pulling in the information that is going to be for your greatest growth, (10:05) your greatest benefit and it kind of happens all at once you know in one session so not over (10:10) multiple sessions but just in one and you're taking it in as you're sitting there as a client (10:16) and receiving profound mental shifts, emotional shifts, subconscious shifts.I'm really going into (10:25) your subconscious and just diving in there and feeling and asking what is the greatest (10:30) block in their subconscious, what is the greatest limiting negative belief in their subconscious (10:35) about themselves that is running their life and if I could pinpoint that in one session, (10:40) help them flip it, help them channel or help well channel a practice or tool straight from source, (10:51) straight from their higher self on how they can continue making progress on that belief, (10:57) that can happen in one session and of course afterward that that person needs to continue (11:03) to implement in order to see the changes be sustained but that's why I provide both for now (11:10) because I love it when people come to me and they're like I'm ready, I know that I'm ready (11:17) on a soul level for a healing session or an intuitive session because I've done everything (11:24) that I can think of and I still have this block or I still am unable to get past this one thing (11:33) so that's why I offer both right now and okay kind of got kind of went in a different direction (11:41) there at the end but I just feel so passionate about this and I'm really glad to offer this and (11:47) I feel so unrestricted because I've allowed myself, given myself that permission to be who I am (11:55) and show up as I need to be for others and and to do it in a way that is unrestrained by my human (12:03) and these outside institutions and structures so to me this feels like the absolute like (12:11) what we want as a if you want to call yourself a decolonial therapist or a anti-oppressive (12:18) therapist like if you can tune into the client and exactly what they need in that moment (12:26) via their energy then you don't have to implement anybody else's protocols you are you are just (12:34) purely touching into what does that person need right now and what do they need to hear what are (12:40) the tools that they need it's truly just for them so anyway I could go on that also that's another (12:47) tangent I would love to talk about one day all right everybody I'll talk to you in the next one.